careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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