forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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