i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
