i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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