I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
