First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
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I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
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please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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