hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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