if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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