the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so let's talk penis.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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