I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
