I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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