he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
