My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
