Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
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hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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