Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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