I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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