after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
