I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
