you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
