at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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