oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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