i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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