if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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