singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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