you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
