fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
