It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
