Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
