Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
