I need help removing her.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
