escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
