I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
