By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We just shotgunned beers for America
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
