Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
