you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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