I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
