He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
