I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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