He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
