does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
