I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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