Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
