I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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