So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
