You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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