i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
