i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
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Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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