I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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