So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
