Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
