my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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