i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
