I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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