The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table