So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
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Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
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im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.