K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?