you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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