So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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