It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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