I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
