Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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