honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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