call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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