there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
