I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The ass gains better be worth it
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