Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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