her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
