Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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