Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
